Monday, October 29, 2007

Oil of OMG you must be joking...

This may surprise you, but I wasn't born yesterday. I say this because I want to establish that I am not naive, nor am I new to the ways of the world. I'm a feminist, after all. I'm well versed in the reality of our media saturated society and our quest to buy, buy, buy.

But for some reason, a commercial I saw last night for this really struck a nerve.

I had heard of womyn wanting to "plump" up their lips with collagen because it is a scientific fact that womyn's lips thin with age. Full lips translate into youth and fertility and therefore thin lips = old hag. And in our youth obsessed culture, this makes sense (in a tragic, tragic way).

But this Oil of Olay Regenerist Anti-Aging Lip Treatment doesn't plump up your lips. It gets rid of the wrinkles on your lips. Yes that's right ladies. The "vertical lines" to be more precise. There is only one thing to say to that: Good Lord Have Mercy.

It's bad enough that "pro-beauty" Dove advertised deodorant for womyn that "smoothed" their underarms so that they were no longer ashamed to wear tanktops and show them off. Thanks to Oil of Olay, your armpits are the least of your problems.

Add that to the lovely statistic that the average womyn will consume 4 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime and you've got yourself a sticky situation.

Moral of the story: Embrace your "wrinkled" lips. When your tas-tas are down to your knees, they'll be the least of your worries anyway.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

&*@# Weather vane!

As a powernerd extraordinaire, I love nothing more than to watch Question Period. You know, those few hours in the middle of the afternoon when a bunch of grown men (and let's face it, womyn only represent 21% of Parliament) yell at each other across a room and pound on their desks like imbeciles. The truth is, I love to watch it for the content because I'm a politics buff (Shocking, I know) but the immaturity grates on my nerves.

These are grown adults who are democratically elected to represent US. I don't know about you, but when I disagree with someone, I don't pound on a table while yelling "SHAME"! But hey, maybe that's just me.

The maturity level is so low in Quebec, for instance, that certain words have been banned from question period. Classy words such as "pig", "buffoon" and "liar" apparently, but I doubt that last one is enforced because sometimes, you just call a spade a spade. Now when grown men need to be legally sanctionned not to call another grown man a pig, there's a problem. But that's not the problem that politicians in Quebec are currently upset about. No no. Politicians in Quebec are upset about weather vanes.

That's right. Weather vanes.

It seems the Liberal premier of Quebec has referred to ADQ leader Mario Dumont as a "weather vane" or "girouette" in French. Reason? The guy is about as consistent as the weather. Clever? I thought so. Hey, this is the same party that refers to the economic development minister as "Good Time Charlie" because of his too-good-to-be-true outlook. But apparently, Quebec legislature president Michel Bissonnet isn't down with their sense of humour.

So what are they doing? Instead of concentrating on where Canada stands in Iraq, our killing of Mother Nature, the rise of fundamentalism in Quebec, racism, world peace, etc the Quebec legislature has just banned the word weather vane from Question Period. But no worries, it's only banned from Question Period. So he can still call him that in interviews or on the street.

That's right ladies and gentlemen of Quebec. Your hard earned tax dollars are being spent on disciplining a bunch of immature old dudes who use meteorological terms inappropriately.

A slap on the wrist for you Mr. Charest and an Oh SNAP from me.

P.S As I've said before, sometimes these people make it too easy for me...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The times, they are NOT a changin'

Sorry to let you down Bob Dylan but it appears to be business as usual in Ontario today. Instead of giving skeaze bag McGuinty the boot, Ontarians thought "Hey, let's give him more power instead!" giving the Liberals a majority government. And then if that weren't enough, they decided to vote against the MMP voting system, futhering the chances of same-old, same-old. Although I live in Ontario, I say they because I did not in fact, vote this way at all. As someone who not only lives in Ontario but in Dalton McGuinty's very riding, I had a lot to lose yesterday and lose I did.

Even beloved New Democrat MPP Will Murray didn't win a seat; although it was said he would and results showed that he almost won. But almost only counts for horseshoes and car accidents and politics are more of the train wreck variety.

And so today is a solemn day as I hang my head in sadness at the thought that I live in a province that is apparently in love with high tuition fees, measly benefits for the differently-abled and a pathetic record of dealing with gun violence, gender equality and poverty.

Maybe what I need to get through the next four years is less Bob Dylan and more Puff the Magic Dragon...