Thursday, March 11, 2010

How To Detect If Your Neighbour is A Feminist

Being the concerned citizen that I am, I thought it would be wise to put together a short check list for curious city folk, suburbanites and condo dwellers who think there's something rather... interesting about their neighbours but can't quite put their finger on why.

So here it is: If your neighbour fits the following criteria, they're probably a Feminist:

1- Their deck/balcony has a bicycle, bras hanging to air dry and a bajillion little pots of growing herbs and spices

2- "Party Night" consists of gender-queer folks showing up with platters of hummus and board games

3- There's always at least one cat in the window

4- The music emanating from the windows in the summer is loud, raw and contains a female vocalist and at least one banjo

5- Their mode of transportation is a bike, a hybrid or a really, really old car. Either a Volkswagen or a Chevette.

6- Said mode of transportation has at least one bumper sticker that rages about "The Man"

7- Garbage day sees them put out half a bag of garbage and four recycling bins

8- You've heard the words "patriarchy", "chauvinist pig" or "ignorant asshole" shouted at least once

9- Their house/apartment smells strongly of incense, candles, pot and/or a combination of all three.

And finally,

10- They stand at the mailbox and actually read all the junk mail, political pamphlets and spam they receive and then attempt to educate you, said neighbour, on why you should care.

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